January 12

January 12

A lot can change in 24 hours. A lot. 

You can go from being so happy, excited, and positive, to still, quiet, and devastated. 

The depression you'd imagined can come upon you in seconds, vastly more real than you'd imagined. And it hurts more too. 

When you imagine it, you can imagine it so real that you cry. But then when it actually happens, you're surprised to find that you hardly can cry.

I mean, you can...you cry a lot. You cry more than you thought you could. You cry the point of your face literally hurting cause you cry so much. 

And then you're numb. You can't quite realize that this isn't a nightmare, that it's reality, so all of a sudden you stop crying and you don't understand what's going on. 

Your body physically hurts from crying but the surface is numb. Your heart is breaking, but your mind hasn't caught on yet. 

It's a strange feeling.